We also sell snakes (do not buy the snakes)

"We need a fresh start," said the President. Lots of people agreed. "We need an email service ... for teens."

"Teens that like to fish," said his Chief of Staff. Three mans (?) agreed.

>>> FISH_EMAIL_EXPERIENCE_FOR_TEENS.EXE <<< 

This is the bright new tomorrow of electric communication. No more confusing wires and moldy knobs. Throw your old computer away because it no longer applies to this fast, brutal world of email efficiency and fish indexing. Electric metal sheets with shock you and thrill you with information. Shocks and thrills and literal shocks will update teens with "up-to-the-minute" social news on fishing, teens, fish, teening, good fish, CoolFish II, Bikes (TRIAL VERSION), dogs, and teens. And Teens. There is a version for blind teens, but it is Extremely Heavy.

"I Was A Faggot For Ever Using Normal Email" 

- Popular Teen Slogan In The Future 

Teens will flock to the experience because they love to chat, they love to game, they love social apps like BlackMeetII (Meet Blacks ... Online! II) and they have a insatiable longing to fish and document fish. There is a good interface and it helps you "get things done". Lots of people use the Fish Email Experience for Teens! Even adults are getting into it. "Whoa grandma, we'll need to put a road bumb (?) on your information superhighway." 

Everyone Is Getting Rid Of Old Email Because They See How Stupid They Look For Using It When Teen Fish Email Experience For Teens Is Released (Now).

"Mmh! Ah," said the boy, alert. "I'm ready to go the fishing."

"I'm ready to go the the the the the the the the the fishing," he explained, adding "I'm ready to go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fishing."
 _____________________

I don't know who you are, but thanks for writing this.

PS:Your style is Kurt Vonnegut.
PPS: On acid.