the lone hippie confronting a mafia car salesman

"We'll consider it."

"What the hell you mean you'll consider it? I been busting my balls here for half an hour showing you every detail of this perfect car and you tell me you'll consider it! Look at this trunk, you could fit at least like," he nervously made eye contact with a nearby security guard. "Listen, consider this; I'm offering you a car at the prices that you're practically stealing it and you're ready to walk away from this deal."

"Hey man, I told you I'll consider it.  Let it slide, man, and I tell you I don't mind."
"What, is that supposed to be inspired from like Phish or something -"
"It's from my brain, man."

"Look, buddy, here's a surprise. I don't care much for where its from. You people are always the same, it's always me, me, me, me. You prick, all you do is sit around on your ass and don't make any effort for others."
"You better watch your mouth, man. You really shouldn't be talking to your customers this way. I'm kinda offended and I might have to talk to your supervisor."

 

"Ah for chrissakes!" Aside to another customer, "catch a load of this drama queen. 'Man, I'm all offended. Man, he doesn't like me'. Hey buddy, you're offended, I don't give a shit because I don't like you either. That's life. Get over it."

blank

Take my legs, take my arms, take my hair, take my teeth, take my eyes, but goddamn you don't touch my mind or soul.

Question a closeted chicken? Answer is egg.

All through high school, he'd been one of those beefy football players. He was one of the macho types that slammed his buddies into the wall for the laughs between classes. This uneasy status quo endured, until his group of low beat, flat brimmed, alphas unanimously turned their backs on him, demoting him to a beta.

His doe brown eyes still brimmed with all the hints of hurt; the kind of fear that exists beyond the conscious periphery. The terrifying knowledge that one day, everyone could reject him all over again.

The past lives on in all of us. In him it existed in his upright aloofness, a defensive wall intended to dissuade people from the idea of being anything deeper than mere acquaintances. Coupled with his self-centered ego, he had a paranoid tendency towards depression, because he constantly assumed the worst out of everyone.

The bizarre paradox this posed overwhelmed his mind. Had the four year old rejection been caused, or was it the cause of, this anxious uneasiness? His transformation was incomplete without the realization that all people are faced with the same doubts and insecurities everyday.

The worst of them mask their fears with aggressive enthusiasm. The kind of silver lining that betrays the dark cloud hidden behind it. In all honesty, there are no easy answers to life. There are just more questions.

In short, he was still the person he had been four years ago, albeit now with shoulder length dreadlocks and a new found passion for spray paint.

They all liked him immensely.

Land of Eng

Single cannette cheap beers abound. Two are consumed while waiting for three hours in a bus terminal. They sell strongbow beers. Never buy strongbow beer. They are bad. Folger's remains a solid #1.

It is windy. My breath is nearly crushed by the force of it. I even almost fall over once or twice, after walking back from buying groceries for the week.

The cars are on the wrong side of the road, like a real-life version of mirror mode. I must stop checking right instead of left, because I nearly get hit every street crossing

Even the birds fly funny.

Some Englishmen

Freud called it the Human Centipede of the Creative Professional

expression turns into passion

passion turns into talent

talent turns into work

and then work is confused for true expression

Phillip
You are an insane person and you are ruining my life

Hostess
You're drunk.

 Phillip leans in close:

Phillip

No, you are drunk.   

 

Table for One

We also sell snakes (do not buy the snakes)

"We need a fresh start," said the President. Lots of people agreed. "We need an email service ... for teens."

"Teens that like to fish," said his Chief of Staff. Three mans (?) agreed.

>>> FISH_EMAIL_EXPERIENCE_FOR_TEENS.EXE <<< 

This is the bright new tomorrow of electric communication. No more confusing wires and moldy knobs. Throw your old computer away because it no longer applies to this fast, brutal world of email efficiency and fish indexing. Electric metal sheets with shock you and thrill you with information. Shocks and thrills and literal shocks will update teens with "up-to-the-minute" social news on fishing, teens, fish, teening, good fish, CoolFish II, Bikes (TRIAL VERSION), dogs, and teens. And Teens. There is a version for blind teens, but it is Extremely Heavy.

"I Was A Faggot For Ever Using Normal Email" 

- Popular Teen Slogan In The Future 

Teens will flock to the experience because they love to chat, they love to game, they love social apps like BlackMeetII (Meet Blacks ... Online! II) and they have a insatiable longing to fish and document fish. There is a good interface and it helps you "get things done". Lots of people use the Fish Email Experience for Teens! Even adults are getting into it. "Whoa grandma, we'll need to put a road bumb (?) on your information superhighway." 

Everyone Is Getting Rid Of Old Email Because They See How Stupid They Look For Using It When Teen Fish Email Experience For Teens Is Released (Now).

"Mmh! Ah," said the boy, alert. "I'm ready to go the fishing."

"I'm ready to go the the the the the the the the the fishing," he explained, adding "I'm ready to go the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the fishing."
 _____________________

I don't know who you are, but thanks for writing this.

PS:Your style is Kurt Vonnegut.
PPS: On acid.

a one-eyed sherriff hunts down a bank robbing chimpanzee

Variety is the rule. The end results are the law.

You see in this world there's two kinds of people my friend - those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.

If I could wake up in a different place, at a different time, could I wake up as a different person? 

They thank me. Sometimes they cry.

I am the final period on so many significant chapters. To most other people it is just part of the job but in so many other universes this is where I ended up. There is no difference between myself and these people other than the intangible twists of experience.