I'm in Montana, but my sense of purpose here has been shaken.
In the future (near or distant), I envision myself in either a landscape architecture or a regional or city planning program. The conservation of resources for future generations pulls me. Its an important cause to me, and I think that there is a lot I can contribute to this field of knowledge: the understanding we have of the relationship between people and their environment.
I think conservation is important because it represents a middle-path between the polar opposites of preservation and utilization. It recognizes that preservation is overly idealistic, in that people can not fully extricate themselves and their needs from the Earth. We will always be dependent on it for our survival. Recognizing our dependency reveals the crux. If we are overly dependent on the Earth, as has been the case in the past, we risk the over-exploitation and degradation of our natural resource wealth.
While trying to explain this to some of the other people on my crew, we get lost in debates over what our purpose is here. Conservation work is inherently only for people, which is odd because we are so rarely in contact with outside society.
I think that I've been resolving one of the bigger questions though. I want to work in the urban context; without the frame of people to strengthen my resolve, the work I do begins to lapse into existential questions of purpose and reason.
Q: Why am I here? What is the purpose of my being here? What is the purpose of this project?
A: I still don't know.
I am happy at the same time though, because I have answered a few questions which had bothered me before.
Q: Where am I? Where is my home?
A: This place is where I am, and that place is my home.
